How Far Should "Dress the Part" Go?

I receive several publications that keep me looped in to the legal profession. One is the ABA Journal which includes top news stories and what is buzzing about the legal profession. A theme I noticed seems to be how women look while practicing law or, rather, "Gosh darn it, if you're going to be a lawyer, at least try not to look like a woman!" Case in point, see photo on right. I hate that photo. That is not me. It is a young girl trying to look like what she thinks a female legal associate looks like. Ghastly! I am the epitome of femininity most of the time, and that photo is awful. I don't even see a necklace there. Where are my eyelashes, and what did I do with my hair?

Did you ever notice how much attention is focused on how women dress in the workplace? Does anyone ever write articles on how men dress for work? Or how men do their hair for work? Maybe in some metrosexual NYC magazine. Yet there seems to be a plethora of articles out there discussing the horror of young female associates with high ponytails and open toed shoes, or what color their suits are.

I will give you that the Ally McBeal look, while I confess to have owning a few too short skirt suits early on, is not the best look. You think it only distracts judges? While the judge can't help but stare, we can't help but forget our argument because we're too worried something that shouldn't be showing is showing. Self-consciousness is NOT a good look on anyone. I will tell you that I would never have worn skirt suits that were that short had I more financial wherewithall when I first began practicing law. When you start out making $40,000 per year and you have nothing but a pile of six figure debt and an unframed diploma, a few cheap wash and wear suits are about all you can afford. I couldn't afford that much fabric! Give us a break! Your boss and the judge should be happy your aren't in sweats or torn jeans.

Men don't have the same problem because I'm pretty sure cheap men's work clothing, and they buy it too (or they just get away with wearing the same suit every day) only comes in pants and fully buttoning shirts. When the baby lawyers can finally afford a decent suit, unless they work for biglaw, they typically have one or maybe two, and they still can't afford to have it dry cleaned that often, so they still wear the wash and wear drivel until they can replace their entire wardrobes piece by piece. With $1,000 per month in student loans, is it a wonder what we start out wearing to court?

Want your associates to look polished? I wonder if paying them enough to dress to impress might do the trick. Or bonus them a sum that you direct them to spend on nice clothing. While you're at it, send them to a tailor to make things for them! Why not? They are representing you as well as your facade and mahogany boardroom tables are. That is, if you care enough about those kinds of things.

The discussion about what female associates wear goes much further, however, than simply whether their skirts are too short or they are showing too much cleavage. I think that if we're honest, we all realize (and I've heard many women say it out loud) there is a female lawyer look that we all seem to think is expected and respected. Some of us attempt to look the part, at least when we start out, as I pointed out in my baby lawyer photo above. I keep it to remind myself never to compromise who I am again, and that I am just as valuable as a lawyer if I have long, sexy hair, jewelry, peep toed heels and coated lashes that I can bat with the best of 'em.

As a life coach I am going to say, first, that when we do what feels best for us and we are true to our inner beings, even if those inner beings like dangly earrings and eyeshadow, we are going to do a better job and have a much easier time in life in general. I find it terribly hard to believe that a judge who takes him or herself seriously would admit that he or she can't make a fair decision or pay attention to the merits of the case because of what a female baby lawyer is wearing. I believe that says far more about the judge than it does about the lawyer.

So what if women are a little "distracting" by wearing skirts, ponytails , jewelry, lipstick and peep toe heels? We are female. We have breasts. We have hair. We have legs that look different than mens'. Our feet are usually prettier, though not always and that's another topic. Are we honestly going to go back to an ancient argument that "women in the workplace are distracting?" I mean, that sounds like a mission statement and policy associated with an all boys boarding school. Haven't the guys matured enough to handle a little femininity in their courtrooms? Might I add that perhaps a little feminine perspective would make some difference?

To avoid sounding archaic, we don't say women are distracting. Instead, we suggest that they wear their hair in a more "conservative" style that doesn't show off their neck, that they wear minimal jewelry, that they keep trimmed fingernails and french manicures rather than pinks and reds, and that they wear boxy blue suits with pinstripes down to their shins and squared off thick mary janes that say workhorse. We say these things so that we can say that it's not the female sex that is distracting, it's just how they dress, and how they talk, and the ideas they have, and the hours they want to work, and that they cry when they get stressed out, and that if they'd just look, act and work more like men there'd be no problem in the workplace. Right?

The reality is that even if we all wore your male suits to work and cut our hair off and wore no makeup and no jewelry and basic pumps, we'd still be female and there wouldn't be pretty nails, ponytails and jewelry to distract you, and maybe then you'd have to actually have a discussion about how men and women ARE different and how maybe different treatment is in order to an create equitable workplace.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but maybe I'm on to something. Let us distract you with our pretty ponytails and the backs of our necks. Law school statistics are proving we're doing better in school than our male counterparts. Maybe if you focus on what we can do and on incorporating our gender into the workplace rather than the costume we wear to do it in you'd realize we're just as capable, we just approach things differently.

Ah...that felt good to get out of my system.