Digging Up Baggage, Conjuring Old Vibes

This week some very interesting things have happened to some of the people I pal around with, and to me. The things I'm talking about are not things any of us wanted to happen. They're situations or people we didn't want to attract. However, somehow we did! We've been asking each other and ourselves whether it's some weird moon, or whether we created this ourselves.

I was laughing so hard last night talking to my coaching friend Tia about what I manifested that was not funny, but we both couldn't help but fall out laughing. I was just minding my own business online, chatting with friends and updating my status when an ex from eight years ago butted in and asked me for his stuff.

Yep, you got it. He IMed me and asked if he could get his STUFF. What stuff? The stuff that he moved into my house more than eight years ago but then never actually moved himself into my house. The stuff that he left in my house for years, every now and again asking about it and saying he'd send his mom or best friend over to retrieve. The stuff that took up the better part of a quarter of my basement, eventually smelling musty. The stuff that I weeded out down to the crucial and sentimental items after a couple of years, thinking I had no responsiblity to keep it any longer, but thinking I'd be nice and safely keep it until he decided to one day retrieve it.

Well, along my path of spiritual growth I discovered that keeping his stuff really wasn't in my best interest. While I thought I was being nice, I was compromising my own integrity by keeping it, and I was allowing his energy to fill a space in my house. In fact, a couple of summers ago I got a wild hair and decided to burn 99% of the things that belonged to or reminded me of any ex. I wanted those items out of my space, and the burning part seemed cleansing to me. So a girlfriend of mine from high school gathered all the stuff with me and made a bonfire for me in her back yard and we burned and drank wine, and it was glorius.

In that burning pit went old letter jackets, pictures, momentos, books, and even a wedding gown that was never to be worn. It melted like butter. Don't ever get too close to a candle wearing your wedding gown ladies...it's scary how fast those things melt. I burned it all and I felt cleansed, and a new space was created for a healthy, fresh and loving presence and relationship. It worked, because that space (figuratively) is now filled with the best possible energy in the form of my sweetie, who is just amazing.

So, almost two weeks ago now, I had a yard sale. I had cleaned out my house, every nook and cranny, and decided what was to go. I got rid of a lot. One thing that still remained was a big wooden toy box with this particular ex's name engraved in it. It had to go. I hadn't had the heart to burn it, but thought some kid might like it. So I put it on the lawn at the yard sale and it was one of the first things to go. The woman was so happy to have it for her child. My dad even helped her carry it home. I thought, phew, how good does that feel to finally have the last of that crap out of my house? No more ex anything.

Now I wonder if I stirred some kind of weird pot and thought about it in a guilty kind of way, because this guy bumps into my chat session after eight years and has the nerve to ask if he can get his stuff. I explained to him what I just told you. He was a bit upset and argued with me about it a little, as if he had expected me to still have his junk after that long.

At first it started to mess with my vibe, but as I saw the typed characters in the chat, I began to laugh so hard I could barely catch my breath. I said, "Um, we broke up in 2001. It's 2009." Meanwhile, one of my other friends said, "Tell him if you'd charged him storage for eight years, he'd owe you hundreds if not thousands, so you're even." I did not apologize. I felt that it was his actions that resulted in his stuff evaporating. It was his responsibility to get his stuff immediately after a breakup, or let it go. I told him so.

When he realized he wasn't getting anywhere and accepted the stuff was gone, he began to degrade himself saying he deserved it. Then I wondered if he was just using the stuff to get to me in some weird way. That only solidified my peaceful feeling that my decision to burn and sell his stuff was the right one. It has protected me from having to deal with him or any other. On my path, I've also learned to call people on their personal responsibility without apologizing when the situtation is not my fault. It all went well.

As I chatted with Tia about it in real time and we laughed, she asked me what I had done to conjure this. I remembered the yard sale.

Let it be a lesson to us all, deal with the present in the present so you can move forward without it. Otherwise you're dealing with the past in the present because you have to clean up the mess, and you can conjure up old feelings and old people that no longer serve you and they might pop up in your face in IM, drunk and feeling sorry for themselves on a Thursday night eight years after they left their crap at your house.

I know this to be true now for so many things. Go through what you have to go through to complete things, processes, relationships, what have you, at the present moment so that you will be free to enjoy the present always as it is. Be true to yourself, and don't compromise your energy and space to "be nice" to others. Keep your energy and space clean and you can be clean with them when you tell them you need to have your space clear of their things, baggage, etc.

When strange things creep into your space, you've got to ask yourself what you've thought or done to conjure it up. Sometimes it's by accident, but it's always our creation.