I am a strong supporter of self-care, extreme self-care. As women lawyers, it's particularly important to give ourselves permission to practice self-care, specifically by way of nurturing our feminine energy. I intuitively believed that working long hours, depriving ourselves of basic needs and outlets, and engaging in a world that is centered around conflict on a daily basis ramps up the masculine energy that is within us all, drowning out and suffocating our feminine side.
A study came out this week in the US Journal Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences that suggests that women who are in higher up business positions, or who are more successful in business, have higher levels of testosterone.
One researcher, Paola Sapienza, seems to suggest that it is women who have higher levels of testosterone who choose traditionally male careers, such as finance and business. (I would suggest the law falls into this category as well.) However, another scientist, Alex Haslam, suggests that it's the other way around. He theorizes that women who find themselves in male-dominated fields play up their masculine characteristics and develop more testosterone naturally over time.
I am not a scientist, but my gut tells me that Dr. Haslam is right. When we over-animate our masculine energy, we do amplify its dominance in our lives from a pure energy standpoint. I bet that there is biological research to support a hormonal reaction as well. In fact, I have read studies that discuss the endocrine system and how constant stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline can cause a chain of events that lead to polycystic ovarian syndrome. Without being a doctor, biologist or scientist, I understand that those with PCOS have a decrease in feminine hormones, particularly progesterone, and have an increase in testosterone. It's not that simple, because they also have an increase in estrogen, but the female hormones are more complex than simply estrogen alone.
Without getting involved in a long, unqualified discussion on health, I have also read that when the hormones and systems involved in producing them get fatigued or in a heightened state of production, other health conditions can develop. It has been suggested that women who amplify their masculinity, sometimes not by choice but out of seeming necessity in the business arena, develop a host of pain symptoms and syndromes that are often labeled "psychosomatic." Most of us who have had some legal anatomy and health record experience know that basically means it's in your head...or caused by a psychological condition.
I saw two of the female scientists involved in the study on Dr. Nancy, an MSNBC daytime show that I never watch. They followed the results of the study up with some discussion regarding the consequences of the hormonal roles. Regardless of the chicken and egg argument, they found that whether the women at the top who did break through the glass ceiling already had higher levels of testosterone or whether they developed those levels over time in the business, once they reached a high level of success, the bounds of acceptable behavior for them were considerably narrower as compared to their male counterparts. In other words, they could not get away with things men could in business. The standards for their behavior are governed by a second set of rules. They were subject to more criticism. They were subject to more demotion, termination, and there was a frequent "fitting in" challenge due to the extreme double standards set for them.
They also tossed out some statistcs. Of the top 500 companies, the Fortune 500, 12 have women in their highest positions. Even more fascinating, those 12 are almost all in the top 50 of those companies. In terms of salary, women who do break through the ceiling make 2.8 times the salary of most other women in their fields, three times as much money, but are much more likely to be fired. That's the testosterone pushing them to take the high risk for the high payoff, or so says the study. I have no references for these statistics. I'm taking them directly off the show.
As a coach, my job is to help women lawyers choose and do, and learn to do, what is best for them. Regardless of this study and the fact that the legal profession does require us to amp up our masculine energy, what I want to invite you to do is deliberately and purposefully feed your feminine side. When you are not at work, and even when you are at work and can do so, amplify your feminine energy. This can look many ways, and the most important thing is that it soothes your own inner-goddess.
Nine ways you can feed your feminine energy:
1) Appreciate your own feminine form.
Love your body. Celebrate it by creating a pretty hairstyle, dressing up in a way that makes you feel particularly feminine and flowing, slow down and give yourself physical love in the form of a bubble bath, a pedicure for your pretty toes, a massage, or slather body butter all over after your shower so your clothes feel better all day on your skin. Pick pretty and comfortable undergarments that you secretly know are uber-feminine. Pay attention to how you move your body, how you walk, and dance if the music strikes you. Practice yoga, or exercise in a way that is gentle, spiritual and strengthening. Take deep breaths in and out from your nose, and feel the oxygen fill your feminine form. All of this should be naturally flowing from you, don't force it, be yourself and do what feels best on you.
2) Connect with nature.
You know which elements of nature call to you. The ones that make you feel most alive are the ones that feed your own inner-goddess. A walk on the beach, feeling the sea air brush your skin. A walk through the park, listening to the birds singing. Digging in the soil in the garden, watching butterflies and bees land on flowers you grew with your nurturing hands. Sitting on the patio under a full moon listening to the crickets and counting stars. Camping around a fire, and then tubing down the river on a lazy summer day. Hiking in the mountains, feeling the sun hit your shoulders as it goes down over the horizon. Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Feeling big, fat raindrops hit your body, not caring that your clothes are stuck to your beautiful form. You know which backdrop best speaks to you and feeds your soul. Your feminine side craves it. Give it a regular taste.
3) Open your heart.
Give and receive love, connection and intimacy. You are a goddess, a woman, and your purpose is to nurture and give love. To do that, you also need love, from yourself and from those you love. Open yourself up to it. Radiate the love that you are, and watch how it multiplies and comes back to you. Allow yourself to expand into deeper connections and more intimate moments.
4) Honor the feminine around you.
Love yourself and other women. As women we can be mean to each other. You know you've done it. You know it's been done to you. Women who are comfortable in their own femininity have no need or use for disparaging other women, backstabbing or gossiping. Reach out to other women. Lift them up. Help them shine. Do something special for another woman who doesn't expect it. Celebrate sisterhood. Honor your grandmother's stories, your mother's advice, and your sister's uncanny understanding of your quirks. Bend just a little and be kinder to the women you share your life with. Mentor a younger woman or girl. Give them a heads up the way you wish someone would have for you. Champion other women and you champion yourself. As always, play and connect with your girlfriends and choose girlfriends who empower you.
5) Play.
Dance. Move your hips to the music. Draw or paint like you did as a child. Write a short story or poem instead of a brief before bed. Create whatever it is you love to create. Is it gourmet meals? Are you a fantastic decorator? Do you throw delicious parties? Are you an incredible baker? Do you have a green thumb and an eye for garden design? Sing...loudly, and with a smile on your face. Laugh with your girlfriends, your sister, your kids and your mate. If you have kids, try to see the world from their view. Get on the floor and play their games. Finger paint with them. Splash in the pool with them. Sing goofy songs and make up silly rhymes with them. Do what makes you happy, and suspends the heaviness of day to day life. Forget your commute, your office, the stack of work, the pressure and deadlines, and just play like you have all the time in the world.
6) Rest.
Listen to your body. Get in tune with it. You know when your body says you are tired. When you are tired, you need and deserve rest. It is not a sign of weakness or a sign of laziness to need sleep, a break or a vacation. If you ignore your body when it is tired, soon it will give you stronger symptoms that indicate a coming illness. If you ignore those, your body will keep speaking to you more loudly until you must listen and it will take you much longer to respond and rest up, or perhaps take you out of commission entirely. In your busy life, make it a priority to get a full night's sleep, to nap when you can (even if it's on weekends only) and to not set an alarm at least on the weekend.
7) Meditate, Pray, Open Intuition.
In addition to resting so that you are operating at an optimal energy level, quiet contemplation, prayer, or completely clearing your mind of all thought for even a few minutes a day by guided meditation, meditation on your own, or practicing yoga can have benefits you may not have realized.
When you achieve a quiet and clear mind, you open up your intuitive senses. You will begin to recognize and perceive things quicker, make choices and take actions faster and more accurately, and you will notice meaningful coincidences happening in your life that will help you in your goals and desires.
8) Silent Alone Time.
As much as we women are talkers and communicators, talking is actually a masculine, testosterone driven activity. I know, it seems counter-intuitive. A little quiet, talk-free, solitude can put you back in touch with your feminine side. For as long as you need, an hour, an evening, or a weekend, don't answer the phone, be with yourself and do what feels best in that space. That means no TV, radio, texts, chats or other substitutes for talking.
9) Don't forget nutrition.
Feed your body as if it is your temple. Yes, sometimes that fudgy brownie or the scoop of ice cream or those french fries just look so good and you gotta have 'em. Then give your body what it wants. If it's wanting those things daily, you may want to get to the root of why. You could be filling a void with those comforting foods, where you aren't having an above need met.
Aside from your cravings and a rare quick meal out, make it a priority to feed your body nourishing meals that fuel your entire system and the cells inside you that know how to keep everything running and keep you safe from illness and disease. Take care of yourself by giving your body fresh foods that are healthy, nutritious and balanced.
As women, keep those blood sugar highs and lows steady throughout the day by honoring when you are hungry, when you feel the first sign of a blood sugar dip, and learning to keep a constant stream of good energy flowing through your body in terms of nutrition. This will do so much for you, including boost your metabolism, your stamina and your mood.
Watch for my course in self-care offered twice a year for women lawyers. If you have questions or want to work with me on any of these concepts in the meantime, I'd love to find out how I can help you.
A study came out this week in the US Journal Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences that suggests that women who are in higher up business positions, or who are more successful in business, have higher levels of testosterone.
One researcher, Paola Sapienza, seems to suggest that it is women who have higher levels of testosterone who choose traditionally male careers, such as finance and business. (I would suggest the law falls into this category as well.) However, another scientist, Alex Haslam, suggests that it's the other way around. He theorizes that women who find themselves in male-dominated fields play up their masculine characteristics and develop more testosterone naturally over time.
I am not a scientist, but my gut tells me that Dr. Haslam is right. When we over-animate our masculine energy, we do amplify its dominance in our lives from a pure energy standpoint. I bet that there is biological research to support a hormonal reaction as well. In fact, I have read studies that discuss the endocrine system and how constant stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline can cause a chain of events that lead to polycystic ovarian syndrome. Without being a doctor, biologist or scientist, I understand that those with PCOS have a decrease in feminine hormones, particularly progesterone, and have an increase in testosterone. It's not that simple, because they also have an increase in estrogen, but the female hormones are more complex than simply estrogen alone.
Without getting involved in a long, unqualified discussion on health, I have also read that when the hormones and systems involved in producing them get fatigued or in a heightened state of production, other health conditions can develop. It has been suggested that women who amplify their masculinity, sometimes not by choice but out of seeming necessity in the business arena, develop a host of pain symptoms and syndromes that are often labeled "psychosomatic." Most of us who have had some legal anatomy and health record experience know that basically means it's in your head...or caused by a psychological condition.
I saw two of the female scientists involved in the study on Dr. Nancy, an MSNBC daytime show that I never watch. They followed the results of the study up with some discussion regarding the consequences of the hormonal roles. Regardless of the chicken and egg argument, they found that whether the women at the top who did break through the glass ceiling already had higher levels of testosterone or whether they developed those levels over time in the business, once they reached a high level of success, the bounds of acceptable behavior for them were considerably narrower as compared to their male counterparts. In other words, they could not get away with things men could in business. The standards for their behavior are governed by a second set of rules. They were subject to more criticism. They were subject to more demotion, termination, and there was a frequent "fitting in" challenge due to the extreme double standards set for them.
They also tossed out some statistcs. Of the top 500 companies, the Fortune 500, 12 have women in their highest positions. Even more fascinating, those 12 are almost all in the top 50 of those companies. In terms of salary, women who do break through the ceiling make 2.8 times the salary of most other women in their fields, three times as much money, but are much more likely to be fired. That's the testosterone pushing them to take the high risk for the high payoff, or so says the study. I have no references for these statistics. I'm taking them directly off the show.
As a coach, my job is to help women lawyers choose and do, and learn to do, what is best for them. Regardless of this study and the fact that the legal profession does require us to amp up our masculine energy, what I want to invite you to do is deliberately and purposefully feed your feminine side. When you are not at work, and even when you are at work and can do so, amplify your feminine energy. This can look many ways, and the most important thing is that it soothes your own inner-goddess.
Nine ways you can feed your feminine energy:
1) Appreciate your own feminine form.
Love your body. Celebrate it by creating a pretty hairstyle, dressing up in a way that makes you feel particularly feminine and flowing, slow down and give yourself physical love in the form of a bubble bath, a pedicure for your pretty toes, a massage, or slather body butter all over after your shower so your clothes feel better all day on your skin. Pick pretty and comfortable undergarments that you secretly know are uber-feminine. Pay attention to how you move your body, how you walk, and dance if the music strikes you. Practice yoga, or exercise in a way that is gentle, spiritual and strengthening. Take deep breaths in and out from your nose, and feel the oxygen fill your feminine form. All of this should be naturally flowing from you, don't force it, be yourself and do what feels best on you.
2) Connect with nature.
You know which elements of nature call to you. The ones that make you feel most alive are the ones that feed your own inner-goddess. A walk on the beach, feeling the sea air brush your skin. A walk through the park, listening to the birds singing. Digging in the soil in the garden, watching butterflies and bees land on flowers you grew with your nurturing hands. Sitting on the patio under a full moon listening to the crickets and counting stars. Camping around a fire, and then tubing down the river on a lazy summer day. Hiking in the mountains, feeling the sun hit your shoulders as it goes down over the horizon. Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Feeling big, fat raindrops hit your body, not caring that your clothes are stuck to your beautiful form. You know which backdrop best speaks to you and feeds your soul. Your feminine side craves it. Give it a regular taste.
3) Open your heart.
Give and receive love, connection and intimacy. You are a goddess, a woman, and your purpose is to nurture and give love. To do that, you also need love, from yourself and from those you love. Open yourself up to it. Radiate the love that you are, and watch how it multiplies and comes back to you. Allow yourself to expand into deeper connections and more intimate moments.
4) Honor the feminine around you.
Love yourself and other women. As women we can be mean to each other. You know you've done it. You know it's been done to you. Women who are comfortable in their own femininity have no need or use for disparaging other women, backstabbing or gossiping. Reach out to other women. Lift them up. Help them shine. Do something special for another woman who doesn't expect it. Celebrate sisterhood. Honor your grandmother's stories, your mother's advice, and your sister's uncanny understanding of your quirks. Bend just a little and be kinder to the women you share your life with. Mentor a younger woman or girl. Give them a heads up the way you wish someone would have for you. Champion other women and you champion yourself. As always, play and connect with your girlfriends and choose girlfriends who empower you.
5) Play.
Dance. Move your hips to the music. Draw or paint like you did as a child. Write a short story or poem instead of a brief before bed. Create whatever it is you love to create. Is it gourmet meals? Are you a fantastic decorator? Do you throw delicious parties? Are you an incredible baker? Do you have a green thumb and an eye for garden design? Sing...loudly, and with a smile on your face. Laugh with your girlfriends, your sister, your kids and your mate. If you have kids, try to see the world from their view. Get on the floor and play their games. Finger paint with them. Splash in the pool with them. Sing goofy songs and make up silly rhymes with them. Do what makes you happy, and suspends the heaviness of day to day life. Forget your commute, your office, the stack of work, the pressure and deadlines, and just play like you have all the time in the world.
6) Rest.
Listen to your body. Get in tune with it. You know when your body says you are tired. When you are tired, you need and deserve rest. It is not a sign of weakness or a sign of laziness to need sleep, a break or a vacation. If you ignore your body when it is tired, soon it will give you stronger symptoms that indicate a coming illness. If you ignore those, your body will keep speaking to you more loudly until you must listen and it will take you much longer to respond and rest up, or perhaps take you out of commission entirely. In your busy life, make it a priority to get a full night's sleep, to nap when you can (even if it's on weekends only) and to not set an alarm at least on the weekend.
7) Meditate, Pray, Open Intuition.
In addition to resting so that you are operating at an optimal energy level, quiet contemplation, prayer, or completely clearing your mind of all thought for even a few minutes a day by guided meditation, meditation on your own, or practicing yoga can have benefits you may not have realized.
When you achieve a quiet and clear mind, you open up your intuitive senses. You will begin to recognize and perceive things quicker, make choices and take actions faster and more accurately, and you will notice meaningful coincidences happening in your life that will help you in your goals and desires.
8) Silent Alone Time.
As much as we women are talkers and communicators, talking is actually a masculine, testosterone driven activity. I know, it seems counter-intuitive. A little quiet, talk-free, solitude can put you back in touch with your feminine side. For as long as you need, an hour, an evening, or a weekend, don't answer the phone, be with yourself and do what feels best in that space. That means no TV, radio, texts, chats or other substitutes for talking.
9) Don't forget nutrition.
Feed your body as if it is your temple. Yes, sometimes that fudgy brownie or the scoop of ice cream or those french fries just look so good and you gotta have 'em. Then give your body what it wants. If it's wanting those things daily, you may want to get to the root of why. You could be filling a void with those comforting foods, where you aren't having an above need met.
Aside from your cravings and a rare quick meal out, make it a priority to feed your body nourishing meals that fuel your entire system and the cells inside you that know how to keep everything running and keep you safe from illness and disease. Take care of yourself by giving your body fresh foods that are healthy, nutritious and balanced.
As women, keep those blood sugar highs and lows steady throughout the day by honoring when you are hungry, when you feel the first sign of a blood sugar dip, and learning to keep a constant stream of good energy flowing through your body in terms of nutrition. This will do so much for you, including boost your metabolism, your stamina and your mood.
Watch for my course in self-care offered twice a year for women lawyers. If you have questions or want to work with me on any of these concepts in the meantime, I'd love to find out how I can help you.
Posts
Was just searching online for help for my overactive brain and right side, and found your very helpful suggestions. I'm not a lawyer, I'm an artist, but still I've been in testosterone mode for as long as I can remember.
ReplyDeleteHow strange it now feels, to open up the left side of the body and relax into good things...
Thanks, Dear one.